🧠 AI workflows beat human translators in 4 of 6 content types.

🔎 Google has released its September 2026 spam update, rolling out globally over two weeks.

📈 58% of ad execs expect agentic buying to hit scale within a year.

🥤 Kraft Dinner just turned mac and cheese into cream soda — and the internet has thoughts.

🛒 Kroger says its AI shopping assistant is driving bigger baskets.

🤖 Can Meta be trusted with user data to power its AI agents?

🥪 Subway’s CMO wants to find room between its QSR competitors.

🛍️ Walmart is merging fashion, home and beauty into one “Style” unit

Client retention doesn’t start when you send the first monthly report. It starts the moment a new client signs, when they’re still figuring out whether they made the right decision.

The first 90 days are especially important because small gaps in communication can quickly turn into doubt. If clients don’t know what’s happening, what comes next, or how the work connects to their goals, silence can start to look a lot like inactivity. A strong onboarding process gives them visibility, momentum, and tangible progress before the big results have time to arrive.

Build the first 90 days around:

• Get sales and account teams aligned on what was promised before the first client meeting.
• Establish clear goals, stakeholders, KPIs, and expectations during kickoff.
• Give clients a documented roadmap so they know what happens next.
• Find and communicate early wins, even when the biggest performance gains are still months away.
• Use consistent weekly updates to show what’s done, what’s happening, and what’s next.
• Make the 30- and 90-day reviews about progress, learnings, and the next phase of work — not just a pile of metrics.
• Keep educating clients along the way so they understand the strategy, not just the deliverables.

Results matter, but clients also need to see the process working while they wait for those results to compound.

Head to Search Engine Journal for more.

Some emails really did not need to be emails.

Loom lets you record your screen, camera, or both, then instantly share the video with your team or customers. You can trim clips, add text and arrows, generate transcripts, and even turn recordings into things like Jira work items with AI.

It’s especially handy when explaining something would take three paragraphs and twelve screenshots. Hit record, say what you mean, send the link. Done.

Meta just launched Muse, an AI agent designed to do more than answer your questions.

It can actually take action for you. Muse can clean out your inbox, shop for products, book travel, make reservations, fill out forms, negotiate on your behalf, and even work in the background while you’re away.

But there’s a catch: the more useful Muse becomes, the more access it needs to your digital life.

In this episode of The Daily Carnage Show, we break down how Meta Muse works, why people are already adopting it, what information it can access, and what its rise could mean for the future of digital marketing.

Because if AI agents start doing the searching, comparing, and purchasing for consumers, marketers may have a very different problem to solve: How do you get recommended by the AI agent instead of getting the click?

And maybe there’s an even bigger question: how much of your digital life are you actually willing to outsource? What would you let an AI agent control… your email, shopping, travel, calendar, or bank account? Where’s the line? Let us know in the comments.

🎙️ Don’t miss “Meta Muse Will Change How We Use the Internet” now streaming on:

• YouTube
• Spotify
• Amazon Music
• Apple Music

🎙️ The Daily Carnage Show is growing!

So, we’re excited to share a new sponsorship opportunity.

Book a Pre-Roll Ad at the top the episode with your preferred script, on-screen text, and link in description.

🎧 Podcast advertising is one of the highest-performing brand channels:

• 60%+ of listeners say they’ve searched for a product after hearing it on a podcast.
• Podcast ads consistently outperform display ads on engagement and recall.
• Pre-roll ads are among the most-heard placements, with the strongest completion rates.

🗣️ This is your opportunity to reach a highly engaged audience of marketers, creatives, and strategists when they’ve got their listening ears on.

Interested in sponsoring an upcoming episode? Reach out and let’s build something together.

Let’s take this party outside of the inbox, Carnies!

Connect and network with over 20,000 marketers to get (and give) advice, feedback, support, and LOLs.

• 💬 Join r/TheDailyCarnage on Reddit
• 👍 Join The Daily Carnage Facebook Group

😎 See ya there.

Got a marketing problem you’re trying to solve? Need a second opinion? Wondering whether a new platform, AI tool, campaign idea, or strategy is worth pursuing?

Every Friday, we’re clocking in for Agency Office Hours sessions: 30-minute sessions for Daily Carnage readers to chat with the Carney team.

Bring your questions. We’ll bring our experience.

Whether you’re trying to improve performance, navigate industry changes, troubleshoot a campaign, or simply sanity-check an idea, we wanna hear what you’ve got going on.

No pitches. No obligations. No sales deck. Seriously.

Just a free 30-minute conversation with the team behind The Daily Carnage.

👉 Reserve your Office Hours session now.

Steve Buscemi is back. And apparently, Australia still isn’t safe from his evil space empire.

Telstra brings back Buscemi’s intergalactic villain, along with his collection of very strange aliens, for another round of increasingly elaborate scams. The problem? Telstra’s network security keeps ruining their plans.

The campaign turns a pretty serious subject — scam calls, texts, and cybercrime — into a sci-fi comedy where the villains just can’t catch a break.

Imagine spending all that time planning an evil takeover just to get blocked by Telstra.

Diced Cream, 1949