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The Daily Carnage

Make it Rein…Deer

Fly into 2018

Happy Holidays, fam!

We’re taking a mini vacation over the holidays, which means this is the last Carnage ’til 2018. But don’t worry, we’re going out with a bang! We’ve curated another killer Carnage for you, with yearly insights, our favorite (non marketing) podcasts, and ways we smash writer’s blocks into mere pebbles. Take that!

We’ll be back on January 2nd with business as usual. Stay tuned… We have a feeling 2018 is going to be even better than the last. 

What Gets You Guys to Open Emails and Click on Them

Whoa, it has been a wild year for the Daily Carnage. We’ve written somewhere around 125,000 words, which, according to Google, works out to be about a 450-page book. Who wouldn’t wanna read that book?

Today, we’re taking the time to give y’all some insight into our top opened emails and what links were clicked on the most.

Here are our top open rates, their subject lines, and why we think they worked:

  1. Google DGAF: 36.66% – We’re thinking this one is because we dropped Google’s name into the subject line. It also created some intrigue because y’all might’ve wanted to know what they Didn’t Give a F*** about.
  2. Go FCC Yourself: 35.51% – This one was topical and timely. We used it on Net Neutrality Day (lotta good that did).
  3. We Trusted You, Facebook: 35.04% – Another one that used a big brand and created intrigue. Who wouldn’t want to know what FB did to lose our trust?
  4. Save the Drama for Your Llama: 33.99% – Literally no idea. Y’all like rhyming and llamas?
  5. Marketers: This Is Why We Can’t Have Nice Things: 33.92% – Intrigue struck again! Why can’t we have nice things?

And now for our most clicked links. These ones got all the clicks:

  1. Unbounce’s landing page conversion report. Guess you guys like conversion rate optimization.
  2. Search Engine Journal’s 2018 marketing calendar. Y’all also really wanted to know when National Taco Day 2018 is.
  3. The catchiest jingle in the world: Dumb Ways to Die. It’s from the most effective safety ad campaign ever.
  4. Oh hey! Our Facebook Group! You guys love our group and we do too! Closing in on 1,000 members in it.
  5.’s hilarious “Branded in Memory” campaign. Laugh as people try to draw famous brand logos from memory.

Some Podcasts That Have Nothing to Do with Marketing

Even though we listen to about 129,324 marketing podcasts each day (hey, it’s hard work trying to find a good one for the Daily Carnage), we actually listen to other, non-marketing podcasts too.

Since a lot of you will likely be traveling over the next few days, we thought you’d enjoy some different podcasts, too.

Here are some of our non-marketing favs:

  1. How I Built This – We’ve dropped a few episodes of this one into the Daily because it is just so good. Each episode interviews innovators, entrepreneurs, and idealists and the stories behind the movements they created. Our favorite episode: Whitney Wolfe from Bumble. She’s our people.
  2. The Way I Heard It with Mike Rowe – If Mike’s voice isn’t enough to do it for you, Mike tells a true story in about ten minutes—but there’s always a wild plot twist at the end. Some of the stories are about famous people you love, politicians you don’t, and even people you’ve never heard of. Our favorite episode? All of them.
  3. Radiolab is, as they put it, “ a show about curiosity. Where sound illuminates ideas, and the boundaries blur between science, philosophy, and human experience.” Hard to pick a fav, but we think “Where the Sun Don’t Shine” is one of the most beautiful stories ever told via podcast. And maybe ever.
  4. Stuff You Should Know is, well, about stuff you should know! From crayons to exorcisms to mushrooms to the sun, there is no shortage of variety of knowledge nuggets here.

How We…Beat Writer’s Block

In our Facebook Group, a reader asked us how we battle writer’s block and where we find inspiration. What better time to finally talk about writer’s block than before a break where we won’t have to write for a week?

Mark says he just vomits words onto a page to beat his writer’s block. We can’t all be like Mark. What do the rest of us do? Maybe you’re wondering where all the sass comes from. Well, for that, we have the “Sass SaaS,” a SaaS that adds sass to all of our copy.

…Obviously that doesn’t exist, but isn’t that a great idea? Patent pending!

Anyway, we crush writer’s blocks in a variety of ways—what writer doesn’t! So, we’ve compiled some of our favorite methods to help any of our readers get over the hurdle (especially the inevitable boulder on January 2nd).

  • A daily dose of McSweeney’s usually kicks our charisma into overdrive. Sure, it’s politically charged, but the articles—submitted by the public, mind you—are packed with a biting humor and captivating copy any writer would fawn over.
  • Medium is also a great resource because it’s overflowing with wonderfully written thought-pieces spanning a wide range of topics.
  • Do something completely unrelated to your discipline! That’s why we like to head over to Behance, Muzily, or Awwwards to appreciate another art form—design.
  • Leave your computer. Get away for awhile and do something wild… like draw or play with Legos… or is Jordyn the only one that has Legos in the office?
  • Go for a photo walk. Taking pictures of random things on your mini adventure will make room in your noggin for new ideas.
  • Vomit….errr…just start writing. Everything. Anything. Go bananas. It doesn’t even have to be about the topic you’re trying to write about. Eventually—hopefully—you’ll find the topic along the way during your word deluge.

Hey, Look at This

One thing we’ve noticed from all of this is that you guys really like the comics we occasionally feature. So here’s a great one from The Oatmeal about the holidays.

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